" my sophie.... my soph!"

asher LOVES sophia. he always has. sadly, she didn't reciprocate those feelings until recently. it was kind of crazy because she actually had some sort of sibling-rivalry thing going on with him for at least the first year of his life. i think she actually adjusted better when liam was born! lately she has been more loving to him and even told me a few weeks ago, "mindi, asher is my favorite friend." last weekend we stopped by their house to visit and asher did not want to go home. when we put him in the car her cried, "my sophie... my soph!" over and over and over again the whole way home. it breaks my heart because addi is his soph and i know he misses her the same as we do. it's just not fair being the second child with no one to play with.

memorial day

memorial day became somewhat less of a holiday for us three years ago... we now spend the weekend before preparing flowers for addi. thanks to my mom, they always look amazing. it was nice that it was sort of a rainy day because the flowers were beautiful and held up well.





can anyone take credit for the pinwheels? they were a big hit with asher.

the big, big park!

we have been trying to make it to disneyland for two years now and finally got the chance! as soon as we pulled in the parking lot asher got very excited and started talking about the "big, big, park!" i have to admit, it was more stressful than i had imagined, but we had a good time. asher's favorite ride hands down was the jungle cruise. we went on it about eight times. he also LOVED the electric parade.


this photo was taken on the catepillar ride at california adventure, which i believe is the SLOWEST roller coaster on earth.


the jungle cruise, where asher perfected his impression of an elephant


the hot air balloon ride at california adventure


with pluto


on dumbo






this was my brilliant family's gift to us for addi's first birthday. this way, everytime we go to disneyland as a family addi can be part of it!
(i had to use my computer-hacking skills to remove our last name from the photo)

slide show

i made a slide show for addi's birthday. it is ~15 minutes long. since it was such a huge file it had to be compressed quite a bit, so the pictures aren't so great, but it has my favorite songs in it.
click here to view.

happy birthday princess!

today we celebrated addi's third birthday.
i am so grateful i was able to spend two wonderful weeks with this precious child. she has forever changed me as a person and i am so humbled to be her mother. i miss my baby girl like crazy.

it's tough business, this losing a child thing.
hanging over every holiday and family gathering is an undeniable sense of incompleteness.
someone is always missing.

we love having a birthday party every year to celebrate addison's life.
thanks for all the love, phone calls, and letters.
we love that you remember our little girl.

happy birthday addison! we love you!

happy birthday sis!

it's my baby sister's birthday and i just wanted to give her a shout-out.
here are 5 things i love about linds:
1. she loves my kids. really. and sometimes we can fool them into thinking she is me, but we have to be careful about our bangs and things like that. her kids aren't as easily fooled, but will usually take me as second choice.
2. i think she is funny and she thinks i am slightly retarded and a little funny, so we have fun being funny together.
3. we often buy the same clothes and shoes and we don't mind. some sisters would, but not mine. we have the same favorite stores: charlotte russe & forever 21. we both felt bad for charlotte russe when 21 opened.
4. she is really fun to be with and talk to and i love just hanging out with her. wednesdays are always fun because we hang out after she gets off work and eat lunch from pat's express and laugh.
5. sophia. she is the same age as addi and loves her. of all my nieces and nephews, soph loves addi the most. every time she comes to my house she wants to look at addi's clothes and play with her things. last week she asked me to put addi's picture in her locket so it would be just like mine. i love that little girl.






happy birthday! love you linds!

tagged

tagged
i've been tagged by kory. here goes:

1. Best thing you cooked this last week.
ha! it's been 5 days since i actually cooked dinner, but it was good: artichokes, rice pilaf, acorn squash, and breaded chicken.

2. If money, time, and babysitting were no object where would you go?
italy. hands down. then to eugene to visit jeff and kris : )

3. When was the last time you cried?
it's probably been two weeks. missing my baby girl : (

4. 5 things you were doing this month 10 years ago.
starting my first job as a pharmacy technician
chemistry and physics at uvsc
writing letters to kevin almost every day (he'd only been out two months at that point)
hanging out with amie and gina.
that's all i remember.

5. 5 things on my to do list.
get more wheat (i canned 200 lbs this morning but still need 400 more!)
clean out the garage
take asher to get his flu shot (i have a vial in my fridge, but can't bring myself to stick him... he'd HATE me for that!)
build lockers for my mudroom
finish addi's scrapbook

6. 5 favorite snacks.
easy.
edamame
pomegranates, peaches, or cherries depending on the season
chocolate protein shake with peanut butter added
graham crackers and milk (will took asher home from stake conference on sunday to have a nap and i ate all the crackers from his diaper bag)
cold cereal

7. 5 bad habits.
staying up too late reading
this one is terrible: i buy too much fresh produce and end up throwing it away.
staying late at work to get stuff done
being 5 minutes late for church
getting behind on my blog then posting 5-6 posts all at once; then i change the dates and times. : )

8. 5 favorite foods
artichokes
oregano's pablo picasso salad (daisy, please tell me you have tried this!)
sushi
salmon
oregano's bbq chicken pizza

9. 5 places I've been
florida
kayenta, az; navajo nation
san fransisco
oregon
acapulco

10.5 favorite memories
kangaroo care with addi: the whole world stood still when i snuggled her- she woud melt right into my chest.
getting the amnio results four weeks before asher was born. dr draper called me and said, "everything is perfect."
spending a week in san fransisco with will: the funnest vacation we have had together
marrying will: the day was so perfect and so much fun.
living in arizona: i absolutely loved it there.

now i tag lindsey k, spyderette, jeff, and liz

live welle

i have been looking forward to running this 5k in memory of elle hullinger, who died in an accident last fall. elle's family lives in my brother's neighborhood and when i heard about the race, i wanted to run it to show my support for them. when i was driving in to the park that morning, and saw the pink and white balloons, i got really emotional. i can't describe the tender connection i feel towards others who have lost babies. i was so grateful to be able to participate in this event to honor elle.

damon took this picture just before i crossed the finish line:



a picture with my nieces and nephew. my sister-in-law, tiffany, ran with me and the kids ran in the kids fun run afterwards. at the end of the event, we let the balloons go. that is something we do every year on addi's birthday. it was a great day and i plan to participate again next year.

desert botanical garden -butterfly exhibit

we were so excited that the spring butterfly exhibit at the garden was open while we were in town. we went to the fall exhibit a couple of years ago, but they only have monarchs in the fall. in the spring, they have tons of different varieties of butterflies to see. this exhibit is so fun because you walk through this greenhouse and there are literally thousands of butterflies flying around you. it is fun to be able to see them close up. we love butterflies because they are our little symbol for addison. all of her clothes and blankets had butterflies on them, and, like a butterfly, she brought so much joy and beauty to our lives for just a brief moment before flying away.


a rare shot of the family


i love this picture of the boys looking at butterflies. asher has the cutest face!


i totally pirated this picture from holly... none of my close shots turned out! great photography, holly!


i snapped this picture of this boy, sam, just in time. for some reason, the butterflies loved his white shirt, and kept landing on him.


another of holly's great photo's.

addi

i can't belive my baby girl would be two years old! she is the sweetest, most amazing person i know. i am so lucky to be her mommy. i miss her with every ounce of my being, but at the end of every day i am one day closer to being with her again. sending kisses to heaven on butterfly wings until then.....